Mental Health Hotline….

If you are Obsessive/Compulsive: Press 1 repeatedly.

If you are Co-Dependent: Ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have Multiple Personalities: Press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you are Paranoid: We know what you are and what you want. Stay on the line and we’ll trace your call.

If you are Delusional: Press 7 and your call will be transferred to the Mother ship.

If you are Schizophrenic: Listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are Depressive: It doesn’t matter which number you press. No one will answer you.

If you have a Short-Term Memory Loss: Please try your call again later.

If you have Low Self-Esteem: Hang up. All operators are too busy to talk to you.


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